Parenting Preteens: Building a ‘United Front’

Preadolescence challenges preteens and parents. Let’s face these challenges as allies! Besides bestowing us with changes in appearance, attitude, mood, and behavior, preadolescence presents us some serious and difficult challenges.

What happened to my child? Preteens begin to redefine themselves in relation to parents and siblings — who may not welcome the changed roles — and develop new interests, which may not be shared by others at home.

Social Studies, or social scene? The school environment around the middle school years is stressful, as academic subjects become more complicated, and motivation toward studying may be affected by alternative competing inclinations

Dangers ahead! Preteens face powerful social pressures from their peers, the neighborhoods where they live, and from mass media. Parents may feel helpless in shielding their kids from the many influences that threaten their safety and well being.

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Helping Preteens Transition to Middle School

The transition from elementary school to middle school is one of the most significant changes in a child’s educational life.

The transition is magnified because preteens are faced with the many major structural differences between elementary and middle school at the very time that their bodies and emotions are changing at the most rapid rates of their lives.

By understanding the following points about the nature of preteens entering middle school, parents can turn this challenging transition into a positive foundation for future interactions with their children:

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Why Every Preteen Needs A Mentor

My earliest mentor was an artist named Esmé who lived up the street from my family. She would open her tiny art studio to a few neighborhood kids and let us do whatever we wanted. Esmé gave a few pointers and demonstrated some techniques, but for project ideas, she let us take the lead, offering only words of encouragement.

My parents still have some of my art from that time: painted plaster casts of toothpaste tubes inscribed with “Silly String,” glazed ceramic containers with no practical purpose, and many painted pet rocks. These experiences with Esmé had many impacts on me, influencing my choice of career as an artist and art therapist, my belief in the power of creative expression, and my strong support of mentoring young people.

Most of us can recall at least one adult who made us feel special, who nurtured our talents, who reinforced the idea that we were fine just the way we were. These people are mentors, whether in formal programs, at the workplace, or through an informal network of family and friends. In 2005, 3 million adults identified themselves as mentors to young people. One researcher lists 17.6 million additional American youth who want or need a mentor.

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